Introducing the world’s most advanced Artificially Intelligent vending machine. Tech giant Unicorp Industries’ latest release fast-forwards us to a future where custom trinkets are made in real-time and authentic material gratification is available on demand! For only $5 you can make ANYTHING (except mass-produced meaningless garbage) with TrinkeTron TURBO 2000.
History of the TrinkeTron(s)
The original TrinkeTron prototype, model 5000, was released in 2014. Its features included a 100% recyclable all-cardboard shell, 5 multi-pole knobular switches, 20 minute production cycle, Quantum Crystal CPU, and the first application of our proprietary AI software TalkTron 1.0.
During the 4-hour demonstration, the prototype produced nearly 20 unique trinkets, one power outage, and a small electrical fire (that did not trip any alarms or injure any important humans). Its unlikely success encouraged the development team to pursue further iteration with increased funding resources.
In 2016, the next iteration of the TrinkeTron project was unveiled. The 6750 model was a hybrid unit, comprised of some of the components used in the original prototype (specifically the core Quantum Crystal CPU and Status wheel). Many new features were also added:
- TalkTron version 2.0 with facial recognition, allowing for more natural-sounding conversation and the interpretation of customers’ facial expressions
- Rapid Realtime two-minute production cycle
- A more durable, yet still lightweight and highly portable shell composed of MDF fibreboard
- Hexagonal Knob interface with 5 independent attribute spectrums: Aplomb, Magic, Mirth, Bathos, and Utility.
- Enhanced safety and security features like Fire / Mischief Detection and an electrified interface for administering punitive electrical shocks
- Trinket label and packaging generation
- Licensed music from pop stars like Rihanna, Brittany Spears, and Tangerine Dream
TrinkeTron 6750 travelled to a diverse array of events throughout 2016-2017 season selling hundreds of packaged trinkets to bewildered customers. Documentation of the booth’s appearances at music and art festivals, trade shows, marketplaces, malls, and city streets highlighted some areas for potential improvement in the next build. However, due to resource scarcity after the controversial resolution of UniCorp’s Y2K tribunal, funding would not be approved for any further development, and the project was put on permanent hiatus. Eventually, the team disbanded, during a lengthy search for outside sources of financing. In a rather risky gambit, inventor and Chief Technician Ryan Cassidy opted to finance the project out-of-pocket (in exchange for co-ownsership of the TrinkeTron brand), and in 2019 TrinkeTron TURBO 2000 was released after a lengthy redevelopment and production phase.
In Aprl 2019, UniCorp’s long-awaited successor to the TrinkeTron line was finally unveiled to a trinket-hungry public. The TrinkeTron TURBO 2000 unit was completely redesigned from the ground-up, using only new patented Unicorp technology, but keeping the familiar and now-famous feel of the hexagonally-knobbed interface. You can read all about the development of the latest TrinkeTron in utterly exhausting detail by reading Chief Technician Ryan Cassidy’s progress reports. Some of the innovative features incorporated into the latest TrinkeTron model include:
- Interactive video screen with subtitled text for greater accessibility
- An extensive re-work of TalkTron v2.0 AI software with MEE (Maxillofacial Emotive Engine) compatibility
- Wireless internet connectivity and data backup
- Socio-Scan™, facial recognition and social media sweeper
- Green Glow™ photon scatter marquee
- Alpha wave laser scanner and psychotropic vaporizer
- Enhanced interface with reactive LEDs, and Titanium Soul Vault™ knob-feel
- Black Tesseract™ CPU core (replacing the Quantum Crystal CPU)
- Non-linguistic, icon-based knob labelling system for greater accessibility
- Modular aluminum-framed substructure clad in corn-based Maizoplastik™ for enhanced portability and solidity.
- Made with 98% recyclable materials.
TrinkeTron TURBO 2000 has a touring schedule of monthly appearances throughout Canada for the remainder of 2019. Upcoming dates can be viewed by clicking the menu icon in the upper right-hand corner of your browser window.
Project TrinkeTron Blog
Documenting the development of the TrinkeTron Turbo 2000
1: Rejection, Rejection, Rejection
4: How to get A Head in Science and Tech
Press & Media
An interview with TrinkeTron Chief Technician Ryan Cassidy for the “I Wanna Speak to The Manager podcast, episode 2”, June 2019.
TrinkeTron features in this promotional video by Collective Arts Brewing from “An Honest Farewell” at Honest Ed’s Toronto, February 2017.
Snap’d Magazine from Guelph Night Market Fall 2016.
Snap’d Magazine from The Art of the Brew Ha Ha Craft Beer Festival, Guelph 2016
“Making Art more accessible through humour and crap” Interview for The Ontarion by Dana Bellamy.
“Why Ryan Cassidy Rules by Terri, Ryan’s Mom.” Kazoo!Fest 2016 Promotional writeup by Terri McDonald.
“We went to “The Other Big Apple” to Experience Canada’s Weirdest Experimental Music Festival” VICE something-or-other includes a photo of us at the end.