Q: What is The TrinkeTron?

A: TrinkeTron is The Vending Machine of the Future, which is most futuristic.

TrinkeTron TURBO 2000 & Ryan Cassidy, Chief Technician, at Kazoo!Fest 2019 for the launch of Unicorp’s newest machine
Your basic TrinkeTron TURBO 2000 tutorial

Q: How does it work?

A: The Artificially Intelligent booth automagically detects the presence of human customers, and entices them to insert $5. Once engaged, a brief instructional message is relayed asking the customer to input their preferred object attributes by engaging the hexagonally-knobbed interface. Then, in a matter of seconds, the customer receives a unique trinket matching their specifications, but exceeding their expectations.

Q: Why does it exist?

A: At UniCorp Industries’ Research and Development Council, we are committed to ending the age of mass-market production, and reshaping the toxic consumerist psychology pervasive within the previous human era. By harnessing advanced Artificial Intelligence and Production-On-Demand technologies, TrinkeTron offers a way out of the darkness, toward a brighter, better future, accessorized with custom-designed trinkets producing authentic material gratification, not garbage.

A few examples of the TrinkeTron’s output;
each unique design is a product of the customer’s indicated preferences.

Q: Where can I find one?

A: Although based in Unicorp’s underground R&D laboratories in Guelph, Ontario, the newly-constructed TrinkeTron TURBO 2000 is scheduled to travel to various human group activities or “events” throughout 2019, which will be advertised through this, and various other digital telecommunications channels. See the calendar listing on this page, or follow us on Facebook and Instragram to stay abreast of all things TrinkeTron.

Q: Where can I learn more?

A: See the PROGRESS REPORTS section for more detailed documentation of the project’s development and work-in-progress photos. Previous iterations include the TrinkeTron 6750 (2016), and the original prototype TrinkeTron 5000 (2014), both of which have been decommissioned and recycled after successfully completing their respective mandates. All other inquiries may be forwarded to Chief Technician, Ryan Cassidy via email care of the Unicorp Research & Development Council.

Press & Media

Trinketron features in this promotional video by Collective Arts Brewing from “An Honest Farewell” at Honest Ed’s Toronto, February 2017.

Snap’d Magazine from Guelph Night Market Fall 2016.

Snap’d Magazine from The Art of the Brew Ha Ha Craft Beer Festival, Guelph 2016

Making Art more accessible through humour and crap” Interview for The Ontarion by Dana Bellamy.

Why Ryan Cassidy Rules by Terri, Ryan’s Mom.” Kazoo!Fest 2016 Promotional writeup by Terri McDonald.

“We went to “The Other Big Apple” to Experience Canada’s Weirdest Experimental Music Festival” VICE something-or-other includes a photo of us at the end.